Day 35

Today is day 35 of waiting for a match.

This whole process started almost 4 months ago.

For us right now, the days are long and the months are short. I feel like I blinked in March and suddenly it's May.

So far, the wait hasn't been too long but already there are days that are harder than others. For the most part, Garrett and I both have been busy with weddings, Easter, spring cleaning, and work. It's almost hard to believe that just a month ago we were still filling out paperwork to finish up our home study and editing our profile to make sure it was perfect before we sent it out.

On most days, it feels like time is flying and I feel like I'll never catch up. On the odd day that there's not much to do, it gets much harder to wait. Without other things to occupy my mind and my time, all I can do is sit and dream about what our family will look like in a few months or a year. All the questions and of when, where, and who that sit in the back of my mind most days sneak up to the front and take over and as I think through the possible answers to those questions, it starts to feel like there are infinite possibilities (and that just hurts my brain).

On the hard days what I've been thankful for are people I know I can turn to. People who will dream with me about where this journey will take us. It is so helpful for me to have people validate that this is an exciting time of waiting, but that it is also really hard. My community means the world to me now more than ever.

Another thing that makes the hard days easier is sitting in the baby's room. I understand how this could make things harder for some in the same position as me. But when I sit in that room, I feel prepared. Everything feels real and I'm reminded that at the end of this journey there will be a little one who will call that room their own.

Finally, I think the thing that is most important to surviving the wait is faith. I don't know what I would do without God's promises to care for us and hear our prayers. I know that on the hardest days, God is with us on this journey. I know that he has great plans for us and that he won't let us fail. I know that his timing is perfect and while I don't want to wait even one more second than I have to, he knows way better than me how this whole thing should work out.

Thank you so much for the prayers and support!