Open Hands

I was walking through Hobby Lobby (as one does) and listening to a podcast. When all of a sudden the reality of changing seasons hit me hard and all at once.

At work, the changeover in staff and the switch from school year to summer has always lead to unpredictable twists and turns. This year has brought on even more unexpected challenges than ever.
At home, moving forward with adoption plans and knowing we could be matched in the near future feels a little like walking on eggshells. I don’t know what to expect or when to expect anything.
But more than anything what I wanted to do, feeling the presence of the unknown lurking around every corner, was to open my hands.

I know if I hold too tightly to my idea of what is right for programming, for staff, for my life, that I’m going to smother it all. In telling myself I am just trying to be prepared and ready, I’m going to end up a mess.

So I let go. Opening my hands knowing that the creator of all life who has already written my story will be sovereign.

I do the things I can control. I steward my time and resources, I stay productive for the Kingdom, and I take care of the things in front of me. His good plan will play out. I do not need to be sitting idly by or trying to take complete control, but instead, I should be making room for His will.

It’s terrifyingly peaceful to let go. Which I know is an oxymoron. And about every 30 minutes I have to remind myself to let go again as I feel myself start to cling to the way I hope things work out. I know in my heart and my head that God’s plan is perfect and better than anything I can come up with, but I’m also so very human. So I continue to struggle.


So whatever happens, here I stand with open hands, ready to receive whatever comes next.